you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
