How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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