Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm both gender and math confused
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
