she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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