I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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