I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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