Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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