You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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