I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
