I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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