I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
