Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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