I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
