i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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