I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
