I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize