So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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