Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
