my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm experimenting with sincerity
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
