i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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