Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I can't turn off my feet"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
