Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
