And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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