If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize