This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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