I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
