Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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