I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
