Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
i've created a new STD.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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