we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
