I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
