No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
