we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
birth control should be required to get into college
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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