Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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