i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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