we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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