btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
