Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
