I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
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