So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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