with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
