I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
