i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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