Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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