at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
FUCK WHALES
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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