i would punch a child for taco bell
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
