i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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