this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
