being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I have fence marks all over my body
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize