dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
