So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
i've created a new STD.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I deserve this hangover.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
