you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
