did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize