1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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