I can feel you judging me through the phone.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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