Jerry, you need to find god
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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