I have demons in me.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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