their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
