eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
