Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize
