no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
