absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
