So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
