its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
